Mom’s test results came back. The protein that they were testing her urine for was supposed to be around 400. Hers was over 4000. I guess that means cancer for sure.

She has a doctor’s appointment with an oncologist on Tuesday. That seems both really soon and really far away. She knows of another oncologist that she trusts from a study she was in several years ago (having to do with daughters of women who had breast cancer). She thinks that she will make an appointment for a second opinion with this other doctor.

Meanwhile, she is stressing about all this stuff she "needs to do" to get Grandma’s house ready to sell. I told her to hire some people to do stuff and just sell it. I know that won’t happen, though.

She got teary on the phone twice. The first time it was in reference to how difficult this type of cancer is for the kidneys and how she doesn’t think she could do dialysis. Before Grandma died, she was at dialysis when she crashed and didn’t recover. I know that is what mom is thinking about. I told her that there were more pressing things to worry about first and that the kidney failure was not a sure thing.

The second time, she said that she was thankful that Grandma wasn’t around to worry about her. Ugh. What do you say to that? I didn’t say anything. Maybe I wasn’t suppose to.

Anyway, I know that some of you were checking in to see if I had heard anything, so I wanted to let you know. Thanks so much for all the love and support. *hugs* to all of you.

Ok, so short and to the point. My mom had some weird lumps in her legs and had some taken out to see what they are. She tells me today that they are 98% sure it is multiple myeloma. Yes, that’s cancer. Some other confirmatory type test is coming back on Tuesday. They think that this might also be what the lumps in her lungs are. I haven’t done a lot of research yet, both because I haven’t had a chance and also because I don’t want to know until it is confirmed, but it seems that this disease is "treatable" but not "curable."

My dad called to tell me because he knew mom wouldn’t. I can’t even explain the way he sounded on the phone. It was like he was a zombie or in some sort of fog. He was speaking slowly and in some sort of strange monotone. He wanted me to call mom and get her to tell me and to act like I didn’t know, so I did.

I just keep thinking about Quinn. Two of my grandfathers died when I was fairly young, like 6 and 8 or so -- but not little, bitty baby young. I just barely remember them. I hate that. All I keep thinking about is how likely it is that Quinn won’t remember her Grandma. The congestive heart failure was bad enough, but cancer??? And what if we have another? What if mom never got to meet her second grandbaby? It is all just too sad to think about, so of course, it’s all I can dwell on.

Please keep us in yours thoughts on Tuesday.